That's it. I've had it.

I don't know what it is but I've had it. My friends makes me mad and I don't know why. Sometimes I know why but other times I don't. Maybe it's them? Maybe it's me? Today at practice, we were doing a drill. I was running to a cone to be on and my friend came out of nowhere laughing. But guess what? She got to the cone first so I had to be in the middle. Yep, ha ha. And then I started sucking at practice. I couldn't get the passes right and things were just going bad. Towards the end of practice it got a little better. I saw Hayden. I think I like him. He's cute and tall and has a cute smile. He's really good in soccer, which is good cuz I like soccer players. And then, my friends took my ball so I had to chase them down. Ok I didn't really have to chase them down. I think I scratched my friends but oh well she needs to get over herself anyways. I just don't know what it is. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the problem and they are perfectly normal. Maybe I'm the pitied one just because we've been friends for awhile and they don't want to abandon me. Maybe they do want to leave me. I want to be alone but I don't know if that's healthy for me. I don't want to tell anyone else how I'm feeling because I don't think they'll understand how I'm feeling. Maybe they do. There is one friend who understands what I'm going through. But I still don't feel like I can share what's going on even with her. I just want to go back to being happy and the original me? Is that so bad to want??